Common Sense

It has been brought to my attention, over the summer months, that parents of teenagers fail to realize that their teenager has little to no common sense. Somewhere between childhood, when you are trying to teach your child right from wrong and the hormones of teens, common sense is completely lost.

They don’t even have to be bad teens. My teenage son is a straight A student and received a Presidential Award of Honors for his intelligence, but everyday common sense evades him, unless he was taught it at school. Schools and Government are pushing so much on academics, mostly science, that what is missing, is teaching these teens plain ole common sense. My daughter is not stupid, she is un to herself and her world evolves around her, but her common sense stops at safety. Sounds odd? Well, I had to go to the school and have a tantrum over fire safety and awareness over adults stalking children. I had to take time off of work to do that. It should be automatic with the school systems to teach all forms of practical judgement. The school got the fire department and police department involved and they were more than happy to do it. Now it’s routine in this district and across the State.

Yet, several years ago, a 16 year old boy took his father’s gun, when his parents weren’t home and went out in his backyard and fired it in the air because he thought it would be cool. Several houses down a 15 year old girl had just walked out into her backyard and the bullet struck her in the head and killed her. It almost took an act of God (which credit was given to the news media for pushing it) to teach gun saftey in all the schools.

What is common sense? It’s sound practical judgement. Society has pushed, economically, both parents, (if there is even two) into working, which takes away any parent from teaching these skills to their children at home. Of course, teenagers don’t always listen to their parents either.

If you really think about it, government wants these kids to be scientists and doctors. The scary part is, with all the New Age technology, just who is going to teach them good judgement on how to use it? It sure isn’t going to be the school system and with every parent working, well, just think about where this world is headed with our New Age Teens. It isn’t even my own teens I am concerned about. I work with 60 teenagers everyday and some of things they do are just amazingly stupid.

I have also had to experience the lack of common sense in the medical profession with doctors and their high medical bills, who really don’t care that they are killing their patients, as long as they get paid. Think about that the next time you are not getting anywhere with your doctor and find a new one.

I feel for Jim and Sharon and their plight with their twin, 16 year old boys. (from the last post) As for myself, being a double Aries Nuclear Fire Bomb and only parent, my children know that I would go out and get a pretty frame to put around them after I put them into the concrete wall for destroying anything. In other words, they know their limit and how much I will take. That doesn’t mean that they have the common sense to pick up their trash that falls into the floor, take the garbage out when it is over flowing, put their dirty dishes in the dishwasher or clean up after their animals, when it is really necessary. The best one is leaving the front door wide open when the air conditioning is on and it’s 112 outside. Duh! They just wait for me to come home from work to get mad because it gives them a reason to have an attitude. They are slowly learning though. Just so you know, the only attitude that flys in MY house is mine and occassionally my hand up the side of their head. If my teens ever wanted to call CPS on me I would be right there handing them the phone and looking up the number.

Parents need to understand that discipline and child abuse are two different things, whether it is physical or verbal abuse. Abused children become abusive parents and cycle continues.

Being an only parent, without backup, is harder than you can realize, but learning to control your own internal power and directing it in a healthy way to take the burden off of you and place it on those causing the burden. Parents, too, need to learn to use common sense with their children. If you have allowed your children to do what they want because your tired of talking to them, if you let them walk all over you and make demands that you give into, you are going to have a hard time changing this pattern until you change your pattern.

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8 thoughts on “Common Sense

  1. Can you adopt me? hahha

    Now being 18, I had to learn common sense myself. My parents did not teach me anything, since they both worked long hours. But im glad i had to learn it myself, I learned that with every action theres a consequence. I know, its simple but thats what it comes down too. I learned from my mistakes ( a lot of them) and i had to take myself out of trouble. I think the problem with today’s society is that the parents care too much. Parents need to teach their kids responsiblity and respect and have them be independent. School teaches nothing, and will teach nothing.

    And thats what I see within all my friends, most of the troublemakers do not know what respect or responsibility is, they cannot even pay there own g d car bill.

  2. Thanks love, it’s helps. Jim, Sharon and Bea aren’t the only ones dealing with kids and their behavior. I am finding that everyday is a new learning experience for me in raising teens, even in New Zealand;)

  3. I would have to commit myself if I was an only parent of these teenagers, but you hit the nail on the head. Teenagers lose their childhood common sense skills that parents so diligently teach them when they are young.

  4. Being 18 myself I definately have to agree with Infamous on the schools not teaching anything that really applies to life. My parents didn’t really care too much until I was in high school. They just wanted me to do something that might end up in a career so they didn’t have to support me. I got into computers, but they pushed me into getting involved in the “family business”. I really didn’t want too. I ended up in technical school that Kimberley (who writes this blog) teaches in and she has given me a whole new perspective of teachers. She’s nothing like the teachers I ever had in grade school or high school. She teaches the skills with perfection, but never fails to teach life along with it. Even though I really didn’t want to do this, I have learned so much about everything else that it is all worth it. I really think we choose our direction and encounter people who help us along the path we have chosen. I will probably never make a career out of what I learned in technical school, but I will always remember what this teacher has taught me about life. She is one person I trust and would never be afraid to ask for guidance, no matter what subject. I have more respect for her than I do my own parents.

  5. I am going to have to agree that teenagers have no common sense. I am also 18 and I know I lost my common sense when I started high school. Peer pressure and not thinking before I went along with the crowd who acted like they knew what they were doing. I found out the hard way about using my head and I too suffered the consequences of my actions.

    I am glad to know that there is an adult out there with teens not afraid to point it out and make an issue of it. I don’t really think parents care too much, I just think they get tired of dealing with their teen’s issues and the influence of their friends.  My parents did. My dad finally told me to sink or swim. If I sank I drowned alone, if I swam they would help me get to shore. I chose to swim after that, but I stuggled for awhile.  I am a different person today than I was 2 years ago and happy to be where I am because I see a future in my life.

    I just want to say this to all the teens out there. Teenage parties with drugs and alcohol make you do some really stupid things.  Some teens get caught up in it and ruin their life. The next time your parents tell you no, listen to them.  They were teens once too and they made it far enough to have you in their life and tell you NO!

    Just this week, a girl I used to hang out with was in a major car accident on the freeway because she was high on Crystal Meth.  She has serious injuries and faces jail time. I am happy to be where I am, safe and alcohol and drug free.

  6. Thank you Kimberley for this post. My son is finally realizing why he was always in trouble by his father through his teenage years. He resented being told what to do when he was a teen and has resented adult authority as an adult. He makes his life harder than it should be. I love you for your honesty and helping my son in changing is attitude toward people and things.

  7. Infamous, I cannot adopt you. Teenage electronic toys are more expensive than they were when I was a teenager and I don’t buy or serve junk food, my rules are the only rules and cleaning up after yourself and taking care of the animals are the number one rules. You won’t re-learn that until you are in your late 20’s,(maybe) so you wouldn’t be happy living in 113 degree heat. But thanks for trying.

    I would love to adopt every kid on this planet, but it’s just not in my budget;)

  8. You are too funny even in your heat wave, that I am sure doesn’t bother you as much as it astounds others in the U.S.

    You have been soooo helpful to Sharon and me and I really enjoyed reading the feedback from the teens that left comments. As a parent, we sometimes lose sight of what our kids are going through mentally and the times have definately changed to new avenues that I never had to deal with as a kid.

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