Respect

After the last month and the day I had today, then reading an e-mail from Lucky7Star today, I would have to say the Word of the Planet Earth right now is RESPECT. I think we ought to renew the song by Aretha Franklin titled “Respect”, and see if anyone on this Planet gets it yet, because I certainly am not seeing it.

Those of you who read this blog on a regular basis know that I teach in Technical School for adult education, however, I was off work for 10 1/2 months from a back injury and my daughter’s surgery on her lower leg, when she broke two bones completely in half and was in a cast for almost 3 months. When she could return to school I still couldn’t return to work because I had no one to take her to school or pick her up.

I have a love/hate relationship with those words of Summer Break. When I work, my teenagers stay home and fight with each other and call me on my cell phone all day long. This year I was relieved to return to work on Summer Break. However……………………………The Owner of the school called me in a panic. That should have been my first indication that I needed to retire from teaching. Technical School isn’t always about adult education, especially when it also serves the Public, as well as the High School Vocational Program from the High Schools full of 17 and 18 year old students looking for a career by the time they graduate High School. Students get 2 1/2 credits for High School attending Vocational Schools starting in the Summer prior to their Senior year.

Gee, how convenient for the Owner of the School to call me the day before my kids were leaving for 3 weeks to visit my brother in the South. All I was told was the Vo-tech Students had started, there were 40 of them and their Basics teacher had quit. That should have been my second indication, since she had been teaching the beginning Basics in that School for 7 years.

I just wanted to go back to work. I didn’t care about thinking why my employer was so dramatic that I return. Three days later I found out when a 17 year old female student with bleached blonde hair and pink braces started screaming at me over the fact that she had no intention of doing what was required and she would do what she pleased. She was only there for the credits for High School. Then 2 of her friends piped in to defend her and were screaming at me. Hmmm! Now I knew why the other teacher quit. I let it slide that day only because they were having to adjust to a new teacher. However, when it happened from the same 3 students the next day the only thing that was sliding, was down their eardrums when I pulled the MOM tone and let them have it over their “immature and disrespectful behavior”.

Those 3 backed off only to have 3 more start the same thing with me the next day. The MOM tone came again to the whole class of 40 teenagers on the lack of Respect and their total immaturity. Unfortunately, my 13 and almost 15 year old are more respectful than the entire 40 teenagers, that are 17 and 18 year olds, put together. If you have a teen be aware that they “click” in 3’s whether you know about the other 2 in your teens life or not. I have done nothing, but reprimand these students, just waiting for one parent to call and complain about how “their precious child was being treated”. I was so disappointed that not one parent called, until this week. A father wanted to come in and talk to me. I actually expected the worst, because parents always want to defend their child’s behavior because they think they have raised them right. However, this father that came in gave me written permission to hit his child as I saw necessary. I know I looked at him like he lost his mind. I don’t hit my own kids, how could I possibly hit someone else’s brat? I didn’t even know what to say to him other than I would do what was in my legal right.

In the 30 years I have taught in this profession I have never encountered a class full of teenagers who thought they had control of everyone. Today was the straw that broke the camels back. When I had 3 other teens take pictures of a client on their cell phones they are not allowed to even show in the school and laugh at him to his face and make fun of him (that’s illegal). This elderly man is disabled and started crying over the way he was treated in a school he has been coming to for years and has never had a problem with students, until today. I don’t like profanity on my blog, but I will tell you, I was f***ing pis*ed.Not so funny that when I walked into the classroom of 40 teenagers and without saying a word at that moment I had 3 teenagers Scream at me that whatever I heard was a lie, they didn’t do it.

What they never paid attention to over the whole incident, I was watching them while they did it, I just didn’t know who they were doing it to at that moment. The best part is, I have known this man for 18 years, and when he came out and saw me standing there, with tears in his eyes, he managed a slight smile and knew I would take care of it and I did. In the MEAN Mom tone I point blank told them I was contacting their High School Counselors and their non productive parents and they would be attending High School for 5 years to make-up for the credits they were going to lose when I terminated them. You really could have heard a pin drop in that classroom. I will bet any one of you, not one parent will call me to defend their total brat teenager. The best part of all of this was my 13 year old daughter who went to work with me today, who was appalled by what she was experiencing and didn’t understand why their parents didn’t care to do anything over how they were acting.

If you have teens, stop being afraid of them and lay the law down. YOU ARE THE PARENT. Just how do feel if your smart a*s teen rules their way of control into Government? For the rest of you that don’t really give a Rats A*s about RESPECTING others or this PLANET as a whole, well gee, the second word of the day is “GROW UP”! I have read the comments on my blog about others that just don’t get it. We all in this together, at this moment in our lives. Are all of you that afraid, self-centered and selfish that you care nothing about the future of your family and friends and how they act, and yet the Planet Earth’s Future? If I was that controlling as a teen, at this moment I would have a frame around my face that was implanted in a concrete wall. I admit there is Child Abuse and there is Child Discipline. Where do you as a parent stand or let alone “Adult” stand over your very own kids? As much as I hate to say this, “You can run, but you Can’t hide from your responsibilities as a Parent and let other’s take up that part because your lazy and don’t want to deal with it.” If you don’t want that responsibility, don’t have kids!!!!

For those of you that just don’t care about others on this Planet that are trying to make it a better place to live, get off the Internet and quit pretending to be something you are just never going to be, no matter what control you think you are going to get.

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16 thoughts on “Respect

  1. Applause>>>> Great entry, I whole heartedly agree, though my heart goes out to you for having to deal with such disrespect.

    Too many teens today think that they can get away with just about anything. The truth is… their right. Their parents have no backbones, they think their kids are “angels” and they can’t stand to think that their kids might be unhappy so the kids are totally indulged. The result is classrooms across the country like yours 17-18 yr old kids that do not have a clue. They are almost legal “adults”, yet they have no direction, no goals, no self-discipline, and think that the world should be handed to them on a platter.

    I think it would be great if in classrooms like yours where this is a problem that the parents and teens were mandated to enroll for a period of time in one of those schools for troubled teens to learn some respect and communication skills. Go ahead and suggest that one to your boss.

  2. Now this is a post I can sink my teeth into being an Earth Science Teacher in a public High School. I love teaching, but as the years go by I find the teens becoming more disrespectful than prior years and parents not really caring about their child’s behavior. I’ve even had parents tell me that’s my job to teach them respect. I’ve had many parents give me permission to smack, slap or beat their child if it meant they were going to pass my class. Some parents are worse than their children.

    The last 4 school years I put up with being called “Yo Teach” and “Hey Dude Teacher” once. Now part of the requirement to pass my class is to call me Mr. Williams, Sir. When I ask a question that requires a yes or no answer, I require a response of yes sir and no sir.

    It came as a joke to even most teachers in the school, yet they started mimicking my tactics and low and behold many of the students call their teachers by Mr., Sir, MS, Mrs. and Mamm.

    I started implementing the Respect of the Earth with respect of all things, including other humans 7 years ago.

    And yes, I use the DAD Tone with my students and my own kids, so you keep right on using that MOM tone with your students celticprincess. The rest of you parents with Teens, need to get a lesson on the “I’m not going to take it anymore from your smart mouth and lack of respect for others.” Stick too it and drive your teens as crazy as the drive you. When you tell them NO stick to it. If they defy you, punish them. If your neighbors complain they always hear you yelling at your kids ask them if their kids are under control or out of control. If they don’t have kids, tell them they have no clue what’s going on in this day and time with kids, then ask them if they know what respecting others means.

  3. I’m just really curious celticprincess whether or not you had any parents confront you today. I have 3 teens I would like to smack for their disrespectful attitude. I didn’t raise them to be like that, but they just irritate me and defy me. I, too, am an only parent with no one to back me up. I have to work 2 jobs and they take advantage of the fact I’m not home and they just do what they want. If I had acted like they do as teens I wouldn’t be alive today. I actually had the fear of God put into me by my mother. If I try that with my kids they just laugh at me and keep on doing their own thing.

  4. Sorry for taking so long to answer your curiosity Janice. A major dust storm took out my cable last night.

    To answer your question, I didn’t have one parent contact me. I even found it amusing that one of the students that got in trouble and yelled at by me was quietly working in the classroom when her mother unexpectedly came into the room as nice as she could be to me to bring her daughter money for lunch. The look of terror on her daughters face was priceless. I thought the student was going to faint where she was standing. She and her mother exchanged a few words and as her mother left she patted me on the back, smiled and thanked me. After I escorted her mother out of the classroom the student was in total shock I didn’t rat her out to her mother and have her terminated from school. (That was shared by the students to the informant students who love to rat others out.)

    I give these teens enough rope to hang themselves and plenty of time to build enough rope for that hanging;) In 30 years of teaching I have terminated more adults from technical school than I have teenagers.

    Although, the first 6 years of my teaching career was in teaching lip reading to deaf children and then to non communicative handicapped children. Those were the parents that were the most appreciative just to be able to communicate with their child.

    Oddly, I have found in Technical School that parents would rather not communicate with their children, just because they are really afraid to know what their kids are doing behind their backs, because they don’t want to have to deal with the responsibility of something they don’t really want to know about.

    I am the first to admit that I just don’t mind kicking butt with teens without common sense that deserve it, but I do it in a very confusing way for them so they have no idea if I like them or hate them, but they know they have to deal with me everyday. They never want to share their stupid antics with their parents, which is why their parents never call to yell at me. The parents that call me or come in to see me are the ones that just don’t know what to do with their own kid. In the end, many of those students thank me for helping them grow up.

    The best part of all of this for me is that the class of teens before them always tell the new kids “just do what she tells you and don’t give her lip service and next year when you graduate you’ll thank her for helping you become an adult with a career that will support you.”

    Oh, and Sir William, this is the best part about parents yelling at their teens. Several years ago a Bosnian Refugee family that the U.S. gave sanctions to, bought the house across the street from me. They had 2 children. The oldest was almost an adult when they moved in and the youngest was a very young child. The couple were from Yugoslavia and had been separated into prison camps for over a year. The father was with his son in one prison camp and the mother was alone in a separate prison camp. Being a Mom I can’t even imagine how that feels. Several years later they met up again when Germany took them in and they had a daughter. They were eventually allowed to come to the U.S. They are very quiet people, but they speak Bosnian, German and American English, perfectly.

    When I told them the neighborhood echo’s and I do raise my voice at my kids over their stupidity, ….the husband stopped me and told me, “You need to go right on yelling at them, it doesn’t bother me at all, it shows you have no fear over your teenagers and I certainly respect that with anyone who has teenagers.”

    Stand up for your Rights as a Parent and certainly don’t let your kids control your decisions just because it seems to be easy at the moment. Take heart, you are not alone on this planet, with teens, who will control this Planet one day.

  5. As much as I hate to admit this, I am 18 years old and a student of the celticprincess in a technical school where she is one of the most awesome teachers I have ever had in my life. She will test you everyday, not just about what you have learned in school, but about what you have learned about everything in your life. The great part about knowing her is when she made me write down all the changes I have gone through since being in school.

    The biggest joke about me in the last year was being a “retard” and not getting anything. She made me realize that I was so much smarter than I was ever given credit for. She had so much faith in me she made me her number one helper, in a class of 40 new Vocational Students that started last month. It really did make me feel better about me and I would do nothing to disappoint her just because she is the only person I have ever known to have Faith in just ME!

    I don’t even know my father and my mother is more of a retard than me. I can’t even argue with the “Princess”. Last year when I started school I met another girl that I really felt a major click with because we had so much in common, but today was her birthday. Everyone thought we had always known each other, the sad part of my day was that it “her” birthday, and she is one to make sure you, at least wish her a Happy Birthday 20 times. She invited me to go to the “Cheese Cake Factory” during lunch to celebrate her birthday, but she told me to go to the one on a certain street. One of her “other” friends felt so bad that she had given me the wrong “Factory” address on purpose, that she told me where all of them were actually going to be. I really felt so stupid and I admit my feelings were totally hurt. I went in to see the celticprincess for her opinion. She told me to show up at the right place with that very friend that informed me of the change. We showed up together and this girl who always has acted like she was my best friend was as white as a ghost.

    Okay, at this point in the early morning hours all of this happening yesterday. I just want you to know I had a major wake up ¨call” to life itself and where everyone needs to actually pay attention to those that appear to even be your closet friends.

    Thanks for reading my comment.

  6. I’ve known the celticprincess for over 11 years. I used to live next door to her. We both have 2 teens, a girl and a boy. When I brought my son by to see her tonight we started talking about our kids. I brought it up since getting full custody of my son and she had me read this post. We both came to the conclusion that boy teens are just easier to raise for the most part. That’s not to say boys can’t be a pain, but in general they just aren’t as mouthy and self serving as girls.

    I feel for the celticprincess with 40 teenage girls in one classroom and not one teenage boy this year to fight over.

    Of course my 16 year old son did volunteer to come in a few days a week to create a distraction and drool over the girls.

  7. Now I think Miss Celtic Princess you are very adept at human nature. You have a good philosophy at handling people.

    Teenagers are hard to raise no matter what era you raise them in and having 40 teenage girls in a room all day, of all things, I commend you for your effort that most parents don’t want to take, trying to teach these Kids on how to grow up without losing your mind.

    I have a problem with everyone thinking that you’re an adult at 18 years old.

    You can’t be and adult until you have really experienced and solved or your own the ups and downs of life.

    Believe me little ladies, young boys just don’t have the answers to your life. Some of them will get you in more trouble than it’s worth.

    And you parents of these teens need to be more involved in what, where, when, and why your teen just doesn’t respond to you and not leave it up to others to do your job. I raised 6 teenagers and my husband and I had to use an iron fist to do it. They all survived their teenage years to be better adults. Out of the 6 children I had I lost one of my precious daughters to a car accident by a drunk driver 4 years ago. It still makes me cry to think about it, but it’s worth those tears knowing I took the time while she was here to care about her life and love her.

  8. Okay Silvia that certainly made me cry. I can’t even imagine losing one of my children without dying myself and to a drunk driver of all things. My oldest hasn’t quite become the brat teenager yet, but she’s getting dang close to getting smacked up the side of the head.

  9. After reading all the diverse comments on here I would have to say that RESPECT comes in all ways. Teens need plenty of lessons on Respect, but just how much Respect do the Adults in their lives have?

    I have adult employees who have no clue what respect is. When you work for someone that signs your paycheck you better appreciate the fact you’re getting a paycheck and not a termination notice for your attitude and laziness.

    To be perfectly honest, I would rather hire employees out of the military who have no skills. I can teach them skills if they are willing to work. The planet can’t become productive and change on lazy selfish ideas.

    This is a great post Celtic Princess.

  10. My son is one of the most dis-respectful humans I know. He wasn’t raised that way by me, anyway, but his father is just as bad and an alcoholic jerk. Is it a gene or one of those almighty lessons that some just never learn?

  11. After reading this post about 80 times I have to finally admit it has certainly given me more strength over my teenagers and the people I work with. It’s kind of funny, but after putting my foot down and saying the word NO about 10,000 times, making threats and using the almighty Mom tone I didn’t think I had, until my son batted a baseball through my neighbors window on purpose, I went a little ballistic.

    I grabbed a pillow off the sofa and went out on the front porch and smacked my 13 year old with it until the stuffing came out. When the neighbor charged out and saw I was beating my kid with a pillow and yelling at him, he went back in the house. I called an emergency window repair service and had them fix the window. Then I threatened my kid with military school.

    I was so mad at him that the next day when I went to work I let my boss have it over piling half of her work on top of my work while she talked on the phone to her boyfriend all day. She wanted me fired, but had to go through the Corporate office to it. When they called me and questioned me over my attitude, I unloaded the last 5 years of doing two jobs at the price of the lower paying job, which was mine. 3 days later she was fired and I was promoted. That has turned out to be a good thing, since my soon to be ex-husband has left me with 3 children and a defiance of ever paying child support even though it has been order by the court.

    I am loving this blog because I am finally learning inner strength and how to move energy to help me.

  12. The celticprincess is my baby sister. I didn’t even know she had a blog until this week. She’s a little bit independent an has no problem saying what rolls right off her tongue.

    She certainly gave me a sturdy lesson on allowing my youngest son, who is 27 and my ex-wife, over allowing them to use me and putting my foot in my mouth to keep from telling them they are wrong, because I was afraid of confrontation.

    At a family reunion this year my sister let my 32 year old stepson have it after he called her young daughter an inappropriate name. My other 3 boys and their wives charged in to defend him. I didn’t even know any of this was happening. All of my boys are between 6’3 and 6’7 and she is 5’5. None of them messed with her and backed off. Their wives just walked away to find a hiding spot.

    After what my youngest son and ex-wife did to me this week, my sister gave me the lecture of my life. Something I denied as a non respectful teenager, myself, that my father was trying to teach. In his words:

    “To get respect, you must command respect.”

    My sister knows how to do it, without fear and a smile on her face. At 58 years old I am just learning how to do it.

    Don’t wait until it’s too late to start commanding respect and stop being afraid of what your kids will think of you. My sister blows my mind over the stuff she comes up with over her teenagers. She never stops talking to them and listens to everything they are telling her. When they are wrong she lets them know it, when they ask her to do for them and she can’t, the word NO! rolls right out of her mouth and she sticks to it. Her teenage son told her this week that he hated her because she wouldn’t do what he wanted when he told her too. It may have hurt her feelings that her son told her he hated her, but she didn’t back down. Within 24 hours her son came down with a high fever and needed his Mom. She was at work at the time and I just happened to be standing there talking with her when he called her whining. I was somewhat shocked over her response, but laughed about it later. I never would have thought of saying what she did to my own kids. She told him, without much concern in her voice, “In the cupboard over the stove, which is plainly in sight if you stand in front of the stove an look up, there are 3 bottles labeled by the makers of, Ibuprofen, Aspirin and Tylenol, take 2 pills of the bottle you choose and drink plenty of water. Alternate those bottles ever 4 hours and pray you don’t flood the Valley when your fever breaks and don’t ask me to do your sweaty laundry, you know where the washer and dryer are when you are over your disease.” Within the next 24 hours he was over it and trying to get in his mother’s good graces. He’s a good kid and an honor student, but teenagers try to manipulate and I have found that if you give into them as teens it becomes a way of life for them as adults. I know that, I have raised 5 children, that are a total pain as adults.

    My sister isn’t mean by any point. She stopped on her way home from work and bought her son a milk shake. I even noticed through all of this, doing work at her house, that all those animals she has in her house respect her. She had a problem with her dogs fighting with each other. Not anymore. Every time she got on the phone her bird started screaming. Not anymore. Her daughters Guinea Pig makes a sad noise if she doesn’t talk to him everyday that drives her daughter nuts. Of the 3 cats she feeds, only one belongs to her and he sits a stares at her waiting to butt heads with her. It’s kind of funny they are both Rams, but she knows what he needs and gives it to him. The other two belong to her children, but they seek her out first. Recently I realized, even though my brother and I have been a little jealous over the fact she was given a Title of CelticPincess through bloodline, she really does deserve it.

  13. Gee Celtic Princess, this sure hits my point that I was trying to make today at the School and I didn’t even know you had written anything about this, but thank you for making me realize that I am not the only one that thinks so.

    I just have one question. How is it that you are the most loved teacher, the funniest, smartest and you say what ever rolls out of your mouth and nobody complains, no matter how bad it is, but the other teachers that rank on us are always being complained about and you just go right on about your business?

    Teach me something here.

  14. This is so perfect to post because you are 100% right about Respect.

    It makes me wonder everyday how people actually get away with their disrespect towards others and why others take it. I have come to learn from you that it’s totally not acceptable and you have given me the strength to stand up for myself and tell the other person so. My parents adore you and they have never met you and now my Mom and Dad are always on the computer reading your blog.

    You are a very cool teacher because you teach well beyond what we are required to learn in school and I never thought my parents would be looking for answers, but I guess everybody is for something.

  15. Please visit my blog at http://coffeewithanne.blog.com/

    I am teaching an 8th grade religion class and am appalled at the disrespect that I find from my students. Apparently parents aren’t teaching respect and school isn’t either. I pledge that this class will not graduate without learning respect. Pray for my success–it’s a massive job, but we’ll need to tackle it student-by-student. I wish you well!

    PS I like your writing and I’ll be back to read.

  16. I, too, have had to take the reins with my two teenage daughters who think they can speak to me however they want. I have their cell phones at the moment, and they’re hearing regular “teachings” about showing respect. When they start showing some respect they might get their phones back. Meanwhile, don’t assume that all disrespectful teens have bad parents. That’s narrow-minded and insulting. The CULTURE is what we’re fighting. The CULTURE models complete disrespect for everyone! We, as committed, diligent, parents need to be in partnership with the schools to fight the prevailing culture. There’s enough blame to go ALL the way around.

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