Going Sixties Retro

http://moreoldfortyfives.com/TakeMeBackToTheSixties.htmNothing like going retro through the sixties, especially if you lived through them.However, I certainly don’t miss the fuzzy black and white T.V, and the 2 day train ride on All 3 channels every time a President died and I just happened to be home sick from school.In fact, I don’t miss driving that 1963 Chevy 2 that had no air-conditioning, power breaks, power steering or seat belts. I don’t ever have to see or talk to the snotty-uppity bitches Kay Thompson and Cindy Levison, who thought their shit didn’t stink. I don’t ever have to have Jimmy Colburn tie my shoe strings to the bottom of his desk chair during 6th grade math because he had a crush on me, that pissed my math teacher off. I don’t ever have to be called Chriss Herndon by stupid teachers that had my brother Chriss in class before me and Melvin Herndon who always seemed to be in the sameclass as me. It didn’t matter that I told them my name was Kimberley Hendon, they still called me Chriss Herndon.I don’t ever have to out run Steve Bennett , the fastest runner in the whole school, after his friend Chuck House threw a dirt clod at me, for no reason and hit me in the ankle that I had the artery severed in. Trying not to faint and finding that moment of just being totally pissed off, I picked the dirt clod up and threw it hitting Chuck House in the head. I almost put his eye out. Well, of course, I was sent to the Principals office where the School nurse, Mrs. Birmingham reprimanded me and the Principal, Mr. Townsend, informed me the male P.E. Coach, Mr. Armstrong was going to give me 3 swats. Hmmmm! Celtic Princess’s don’t get swats, especially from men. I informed him he “better” contact my father before he did that. I heard a whole lot of “Yes Sir” from the Principal in talking to my father. I was sent back to class and Chuck House was sent to the Principal.I don’t ever have to go through Dana Osborn, at 11 years old, who lived across the alley from me, tell me if she ever kissed anybody on the mouth she hoped it would be me. Yes, she is still Gay and still lives across the alley from my mother and I don’t. Did I know what Gay was at 11 years old? NO, but I never kissed Dana. It gives me chills to think about it and I like boys way better than girls. My father called them “God Damn Queers” and hated Liberace that I don’t have to watch on The Ed Sullivan show in black and white ever again.I don’t have to wear bell bottom pants that get tangled around my ankles that make you fall flat on your face in the street when you are running from your cousin who is trying to kill you with a brick because he hurt himself with the brick and was mad. I don’t have to sleep on hard plastic rollers on Saturday night so I can look stupid for Church that my Great Grandfather didn’t want me attending.I don’t have to stand out in the heat for 2 hours because my brother Chriss locked me out of the house, then got me in trouble for not doing “my chores”. And I am really happy I don’t have to listen to “She Loves You, Ya,Ya,Ya” on the radio every 15 minutes.I never really cared who the one arm man was the Fugitive was looking for Or for Perry Mason, who is the only lawyer on the planet that won every court trial.And I don’t ever have to walk out on the driveway to my oldest Teenager brother and his grease monkey friends working their hot rods, that used my bike chain as a tire hoist, with that obnoxious smell of gunk in the air.The best part about going Retro is, it shows you where you’ve been and you are soooo happy you don’t ever have to repeat it again.


5 thoughts on “Going Sixties Retro

  1. OMG! I was ROTFLMAO. This was so funny and so true. I peed my pants laughing so hard.

    I think we all have Retro stories to tell, but you just put it exactly where it should have been put.


  2. I don’t think I have laughed this hard in years. I never thought about putting it in perspective the way you just did, but then again, when you stop and think about what we actually had in the 60’s to what we have now, we have come along way in 47 years.

  3. LMAO! Now that certainly hit home. I love an honest woman who holds no bars about what she thinks or the way she expresses it.

  4. LMAO! Gunk, I know that smell from my brother’s hot rods. Bell Bottoms, I fell over them twice and stopped wearing them and was made fun of for not wearing them. I was made fun of for having to wear the first bra in my grade, but the “uppity snots” had their mothers get them one to wear even if they had nothing to put in it, just so they could be cool. The names of the people are different, but the situations seem very familiar. You know what? I lived through it and I am sooo happy I don’t ever have to go through it again.

    This post is really cool. Thanks for putting things into perspective. Helps me see my kids in a whole new light and what they are dealing with.

  5. This hits to close to home. I don’t think I have laughed this hard in years. I rather think I am finally coming out my depression since my divorce from Sharon.

    My smart-ass boys are under control and my ex-wife is in the Virgin Islands with her wealthy Internet boyfriend.

    After going Retro, I feel so much better I have come a long way baby and don’t ever have to go back to the past. I love you Princess, you have helped me put so many things into perspective. Your just about the coolest thing on the Planet right now.

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