Bi-Polar Disorder for the Last Time

I have had so many people wanting to know about “bi-polar disorder”, which is a polite way of saying manic-depression, that I decided to share what I dealt with, briefly to say the least. The disease should not be classified as a disorder, as it is a mental illness disease, inherited through genes and set off in adulthood. Not a lot was known about it for years, but as it has progressed through society and more studies have been done, as too many people who inherit this disease are rapidly becoming citizen’s of mental institutions and prisons.

Many parents do not ever want to admit that there is something wrong with their child. They see their behavior as obnoxious and punish them accordingly, but they certainly don’t understand the bigger picture.

A person who inherits this disease can lead a normal life for the most part, as long as they stay away from drugs, alcohol and anything that alters brain perception. The downfall of these people is addiction. Normally, as a child they are a little hyper and do things they shouldn’t or have been told that it’s wrong, but as they enter their teens and hormone changes they become depressed and seek something to make them feel better. Many teens turn to alcohol because they can get it from an older sibling or parent who doesn’t think to much about the effect it will have on their teen.

With the presents of available, illegal drugs, such as meth-amphetamines, more people are using that drug because it’s cheap, available and alters brain perception to make them feel better and more powerful over themselves. The problem with those born with this disease don’t really understand that the drugs and or alcohol abuse may not affect them mentally and physically until they are in their 30’s. It does eventually become apparent to those dealing with that person that something has changed within them and they are acting differently by lying, cheating, stealing, becoming distant and abusive and above all paranoid to normal things going on around them that they blew out of proportion and have fed themselves with unreal situations that really weren’t happening.

Personally, I have had several people in my life who were diagnosed as being bi-polar and a few who are bi-polar that just won’t admit there is something wrong with them. Of course, there is medication for this disease, if they take it, which many just don’t. The extreme of manic-depression leads those to obsess with suicide and or killing others because they have become paranoid and or schizophrenic.

After dealing with my ex-husband’s extreme bi-polar disease that eventually brought him to suicide it really hasn’t been that hard to recognize it in other people I deal with on a daily basis.

The sad part of all of this is my ex’s parents denied there was ever anything wrong in their family, yet his aunt died in a State Hospital from the the same disease. My ex-mother-in-law would never talk about any of it and hid all the facts from her children, because she was embarrassed over her husbands sister who had this disease. My ex-father-in-law Never talks about his past because he doesn’t want to deal with it or resolve it.

What goes around comes around because my ex-mother-in- law was the one who found her son hanging from the ceiling in her garage when she came home from work.

Don’t be stupid and deny the problems in your family history. Deal with it, accept it and help those who just can’t help themselves. Giving from your heart and helping others in need will make you a stronger and more loving person on this planet and it just may save your children from having to deal with ultimate drama that they shouldn’t have in their life. They deserve better. You brought them into this world, it’s your job to take care of them, regardless of the circumstances going on around you.

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20 thoughts on “Bi-Polar Disorder for the Last Time

  1. Thank you Kimberley for your information. It has become a battle to break free from someone with this disease, who just won’t take his medication on a regular basis. The obsession he has over me has completely drained me and my son. Trying to get away from him has disrupted my entire life and my son’s life.

  2. Thank you for your strength and support in helping me break free from a relationship that almost cost me my life. Sometimes the fear of changing locations and leaving your home isn’t as dramatic as the fear you feel when someone who has 10 times your strength and is trying to strangle you to death.

  3. I’ve been there, done that, with my ex-husband and never want to go back to those days with someone who is so out of control, thoughtless of human life and animals. Believe me, it takes all the inner strength in the world to break free and get away from someone who needs to be locked up. That in itself takes an act of God because the courts just don’t care if you and your kids end up dead.

  4. I guess I really didn’t realize that there were so many women dealing with the same thing I have been going through. The State I live in actually put my children and me in a shelter and changed our identities to protect us from being found by my ex. We were eventually moved to another State, but Katie is right about the courts not doing anything to put these Manic insane people in an institution for help.

  5. I have known the Celtic Princess for 8 years. She was my bi-polar wife’s teacher. I still run into to her and talk to her occasionally. When I met her, my wife was on meds for bi-polar disorder. We were in our late 20’s. I was a bartender and my wife drank a lot of wine on her medication, until she was in a car accident that almost killed her, but did kill her best friend. The Princess was there for her through her whole ordeal. After that accident, my wife wanted to have a baby, but couldn’t taking the meds. She went off of them and a year later we had a son. Everything seemed to be fine with her until she turned 35. She started drinking excessively, at home when I wasn’t there. My son was 7 and I was at work, when out of the blue she tried to suffocate him with a pillow. He got away and ran to the neighbors house who called the police. My wife didn’t remember the whole incident. She was arrested for child abuse, because she was very incoherent and not connecting to anything the police were saying to her. The bottom line to this, the court put her in re-hab for 6 weeks, but when she came home my son ran away because he was terrified of her. He was at the neighbors hiding, so I got an Order of Protection and she wasn’t allowed to come back to the house. I divorced her and got no less than joint custody, but had to leave the State to keep her from obsessing over our son. She called my mother 15 times a day to find out where we were. She too, ended up killing herself by slashing her wrists. She is someone who should have been put in a mental institution, but on the other hand the courts wouldn’t put her there, but gave her joint custody of our child she tried to kill.
    I want to know what is wrong with the Judges in office that just can’t get a clue to mental illness, as her father commited suicide, who was also bi-polar.

  6. It certainly makes me feel better to know others have dealt with the same issues that I’m going through and have survived. There is hope yet.

  7. OMG! I really don’t feel all alone in this after reading this post and the comments on here. Believe it or not, this has given me the strength to carry on, get out of this situation and protect my children. Thank you celticprincess. I wouldn’t have found you on the internet if I hadn’t prayed so hard for just one person to help give me the strength to move forward. You must be an Angel from Heaven.

  8. Amazing! Just read this post. My mother is bi-polar and a complete lunatic, always threatening suicide and killing her adult children and young grandchildren. The State where I live informed my brother and two sisters we weren’t responsible for her actions, but they can’t do anything about her, until she commits a crime. We were advised to change our phone numbers and move, if we could. My sister’s and their families moved out of State because of her death threats and my brother and I leased our homes and share a condo with our families. What is wrong with the courts over this disease, that they can’t lock these people up in an
    institution?

  9. Celticprincess I am at the end of my rope. I don’t know what do do about my bi-polar ex- husband who won’t leave, is getting worse and can’t stop drinking. He’s been on drugs and I fear for my children and family. He threatened to kill them all if I don’t do what he says.

    He has been locked up in re-hab countless times, I change the locks on the doors and when he gets out and comes home he just calls a lock smith to get a new key made only showing his drivers license to show he lives there. I have been to court to complain about the joint custody and him just invading my home. All they ever tell me is that children need both parents in their lives. ARE THEY THAT STUPID? Now what do I do?

  10. Joni, I am assuming you live in a big City where the courts have countless women, with male Judges, who think you are just an emotional female, over re-acting and wanting everything your way.

    The sad part is, you are going to have to get a Restraining Order, which requires you to go to the Courthouse to do that. Chances are you will get a male Judge who will make you grovel, cry and yell at him to get it. Then in your deepest despair over protecting your family you will have to pay to have it served to him.

    Keep in mind that when you go to the Court to get the Restraining Order you will need names and addresses of everyone you want included on that Order, all of the Rehab Centers he has been in with their addresses, Doctor’s names and addresses he has seen since being diagnosed, the name of the medication he is on for his illness and his current Doctor treating him with his phone number and address.

    Unfortunately, you will have to Demand the Court to make him change is current resident address on his I.D. and prove he did so to the Court.

    Unfortunately, the statics of the Bi-Polar people committing suicide, in the end, is very high. They just can’t focus on reality and feel more comfortable being manic depressed, searching for things in life to make them depressed because in their world that makes them happy to be soooo depressed.

    Your not alone Joni, there are hundreds of people out there going through what you are dealing with, whether they are men or woman.

  11. I am truly very sad that my bi-polar wife that I loved and cherished so much took her own life a few days ago. I have never in my life had deal with anything so dramatic and upsetting to me, our children and both of our families. I don’t even know how to deal with this knowing I need to comfort my children when I can’t comfort myself.

  12. Dear Sad,
    I know how you feel,,, i have a bipolar ex… I don’t and cannot be w him anymore, we have a 15 month old son… he does not admit he has a problem, i debate weather or not i should call his family for help, i feel like he is embarassed.. everytime he screws up h e says he needs help… he has completely changed by life upside down in the past 2 years, cheated on me while I was pregnant… I feel guilty b/c i found out that he is bipolar after i got the divorce… i want to know what is the best way to help him?

  13. my wife, soulmate and best friend, went home to be with our lord on march 18 2008. she fought the same battles i have ben reading about. i wish i had known more about bi-polar maybe i could have saved her … my heart hurt for all . thank you for letting me say a few words

  14. Hello to all,I am very much at augh about the overwhelming stories that I am hearing. I recently discovered that my 29 year old daughter, my sister, uncle & cousin suffers from bipolar. After doing some family research I learned that the root of this illness derives from my grandfather, may God rest his soul. Grandpa used to carry on conversations with himself, outburst of laughter one minute and the next minute angry, disoriented, depressed and withdrawn. I noticed a lot of these traits in my daughter at the age of 5-13. I didnt think much of it at the time, but now 18-20 years later what I and her two siblings deemed as funny, is no longer funny. My daughter lives in Florida now, this makes it even harder for me to deal with because I recently found out she’s bipolar/ psychotic. I want to say I missed all the signs in the early years not knowing anything about bp. As I share my experience I am on the plane to Florida getting to my child. My knowledge has inspired me to write a book. My prayers go out to all who have had family and friends that suffer from this illness. News flash! may I also include that my 22 year old is now dating a young man who has a family history of bp/schizophrenia. He has mixed episodes one minute he is hugging, kissing and very affectionate towards my daughter, next minute he is like a child, quiet, withdrawn and needing her to vent all his problems to. The next instance he says he is going to go out and come back but when you look outside he is playing basketball or chess . He used to walk her to the train when she goes and comes from work not anymore, but he does call her often everyday. My daughter says she understands the illness and tries to give him support along with his space. Should I be concerned for my daughter with this young man? Are these bp traits he is portaying? Feed back please.

  15. my son and his ex wife (she is bi-polar) have joint custody of their 3 year old son. she is not a good mom at all and I am afraid for my grandsons mental health. he has been kicked out of his morning (3 times a week) school AT 3 YEARS OLD for his behavior. how can the mom be tested for her ability to mother??? is it possible the baby may even have her sickness.

  16. Unfortunately Carolyn your grandson has a chance to show to bi-polar disease, but it isn’t likely at his age. He most likely is acting out as a 3 year not having consistent rules set by those dealing with him.

    Sometimes adults who are dealing with a baby want to cater and give into them because the adults feel bad that he is having to go through this with his parents. He doesn’t at 3 years old even comprehend that what has happened to his mom or his life.

    Unfortunately, it is a fight with the court system to protect children for mentally ill parents and the court will most likely tell you that children need both parents, even if one is screwed up.

    However, your son can insist with the court that the mothers visitations be court supervised and her custody rights can be taken away if she does not show up to those visitations or the court feels she presents a harm to that child in those visitations. If the mother goes ballistic with the child your son can get a restraining order against her and ask the court for a competency hearing. It’s a pain, but its worth it to save the childs mental and physical life.

    Just because one parent has this disease, it doesn’t mean the children get the disease.

    When that baby becomes a teenager, you just might think about this again, but teenagers have to be monitored and disciplined just like the rest of the children. They are not adults.

  17. My wife is bipolar and I am so frightened for her right now. I love her so much with the deepest part of my soul. She is going through a manic phase right now and I am trying to get her to listen, but that really does not work. So I have contacted her family and I going to call A crisis intervention team. My prayers go out to all that have dealt with horrible illiness. I just hope and pray that there is a way out of this for her and myself.

  18. I’m a mother-in-law that has a son,married 5 yrs, to a girl that I’m sure is bipolar but won’t admit to it. They have 2 kids and it is getting much worse and all I can do now is try to take care of the kids when she lets me. I have talked to her, talked to my son, talked to professionals and she thinks she has a anger problem. She becomes so irrational that 2 weeks ago my other son called the police on her but she left before they got there. He was afraid for the children, but he talked her through it till 1:30am, we were in her driveway for 2 hours waiting to go get the kids if it got worse. My other son loves her but wants to leave her but is afraid of what will happen to the children.
    Both her parents are dead, her family knows whats going on and can’t help her, I’m at a loss.
    She has been violent to my son and herself but hasn’t hurt the kids other than the emotional toil that they have seen and the total craziness that the house is in.
    The grief this is causing is unbearable, please help me with a answer. Right now I have set limits that until she realizes what she is doing she is not welcome in my house nor can we be a part of her life. I know this sounds harsh but until you have seen what happens, you cannot believe a person is capable of doing what they do.

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